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Tuesday, April 11, 2006 ~ The shield that covers

I suppose i've never been good at this blogging thing. Time changes alot of things, some say it's a healer, but one knows that there are somethings that one cannot run from. There are places and things that cannot be reversed, and in the end, time is the one constant thing that remains.

A million thinks rush thru my mind as I live daily, some good, some bad, some just plain sad. I guess i've never been one to be too emotional, sometimes I think i'm just too detached(or atleast on the outside) or look detached from the rest. I've come to find, the best defence system that one can muster is useless in the face of love. No matter how many defences or deceptions one can throw out, in the face of love, it all seems to crumble away. The trick has never been to tell lies. The trick is to tell what is needed, locking away the rest deep down in the heart.

Deep deep, in the deepest darkest parts of my heart, I kept things. Things that were better left unsaid, unheard, unspoken. But in the end, it is all gone. All's been forgiven and now all that's left is love. Love for all the things that I love and support. Like the small grill at Helm's deep, it was always a cause for concern but never really in my mind(more subconcious then anything) and it was covered by layers and layers of defences. A good friend once said one should never open up beacause it leaves on vulnerable and the closest cut is always the deepest. I agree, but at the same time disapprove of it, coz without that close friend, one can never get free of the depths and darks of the past.

At the end, what remains? Hope, faith & love. Of all of these, the greatest is love. Love could possibly be the single greatest human emotion in the universe. Love makes the world go round, love started a war, love can ignite the stars, love sent a man to die for mankind so that they maybe redeemed. Of all, the greatest of these is love.

In the end, I could never dig myself out, all i did was add more to the mess. Thank God that in the end, he showed me the way, healing me and changed me. As i look foward to the new challenges, i remember my past but am not burderned by it. I look forward with hope for the future and faith that my God will show me the way and provide all my needs.

This is the end of an old me, true, defences may still exsist in me. But the core of what was my bitterness and hurt is gone. Washed away in the love of the father.

Of all, Love is the greatest.

Peacekeeper... ceased transmission on Tuesday, April 11, 2006