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Monday, April 23, 2007 ~ Branding, branding, we all love branding.

We all love branding. We all love branding. If u do well in PSLE, your a smart student, if not your a not too good one. If u do well & get into JC- your elite, if not... your something else. We all love branding.

Anyway to break from branding and to continue write on. It's been tiring in the army, especially now we're gonna turn ops... though it doesnt mean that much anymore since it's expected that we wont be sent anywhere since usally it's the ADF or someother regular unit that gets sent...
I'm not sure what im doing here anymore.. Even back when things weren't going well in church leadership I was still able to focus and make a difference.. here? I dont know what im doing anymore... leadership? maybe abit here and there... but it doesnt matter does it? Since i dont hold a commanders rank anything i do doesnt count... and I really dislike it... I refuse to be branded as an enlisted man for life! It just seems so unfair and unjust! I used to think that NS ment Duty, Honor, Country. But now as I go through it... I find that most people wanna serve and move on... I now understand why they say that conscripted armies have lower morale then voluneteer ones. I suppose im disappointed with the service, I just dont see any point serving anymore- there seems to be no reward at the end.... At the end,at the moment at least, it looks like a lost cause. I've pledged to defend the country with my life but at the end of service I will be kicked out of the country, now where's the rational & fairness in that? What Goal can I attain here? I have no grand ambitions of qualifying for OCS or getting a scholarship in the SAF... so what's left? Be a PR? A PR that will expire once u finish your service? When we talk about citizenship, and how it feels to be a mixture of both worlds, the people who make the decision have no idea how it feels like to be like that. No offense but honesty I can say that not many people can understand what we're going through.

So what's left? What happens when u dont believe in the system anymore? In the end, I WILL honor my pledge despite all my reservations and disppointments, but at the end.. I have no idea what I will achieve in doing that... Will I be recognized? I doubt so... To the people up there, i'm just a statistic.. they brand me a quitter. I'm no quitter. With God's help and guidence I will start afresh and anew... Amen.

Peacekeeper... ceased transmission on Monday, April 23, 2007