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Bio/Unit data
>> name: Ivan >> location: Classified >> hobbies: playing guitar,drums, >> sports,computer games, >> kayaking,building models >> & reading history... |
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Sunday, May 06, 2007 ~ 1 year 1 month 1 Year 1 Month left to go! This week marks a milestone for me(as well as all who have entered BMTC last year!), I'm very much looking forward to ORDing or ROD in my case.It's been a tiring week of ICCT... Relations between people in hq remain good though most of the platoon is in a siege mentalilty at the moment. We are in the midst of change and the stress of life can be seen very clearly on each on of us, people going rantings and outbursts, others needing more rest etc... I'm not sure how much more any of one us can take? HQ has also been a special place & platoon and most of the time I get the feeling no one really cares what happens to us... not that it's our SGT & PS's fault coz their so busy... but somehow it always seems to boil down to the "us vs them" syndrome. This whole week we had ICCT, which is so much more enjoyable then BCCT! I've learnt alot of new stuff & to a certain extent I really enjoy it! On the other front, I'm still struggling to find purpose in my NS now.. I feel i've lost perspective on it... I hardly feel any pride when I wear the uniform anymore, in contrast to the times when I first got in & even during trade course, it just doesnt seem to pay to be "garang" or to get things done anymore... In fact I've begun to realise that alot of guys who didnt make it into command sch after BMTC are very switched off after being posted as men... there just doesnt seem to be anymore drive in them, except perhaps to ORD... In this seemly lost cause & quest... all I have left is to cling on to God & my faith... this is perhaps one of the most trying times i've had but Im deeply encouraged when I read my QT material and 1 line struck me, "just because nothing can be seen happening doesn't mean that nothing is happening". Perhaps this is my litmus test? All i have now is to look forward to the future... my college applications, commissioning etc... I once looked forward to the unit turning ops but now I just don't seen anypoint in it... We work so hard to get all our veh & stuff up to standard only for us never to go anywhere and all we do is wait & wait & chase target boards... God help me, give me strength to go on, give me not a spirit of fear but one of power,love & a sound mind. I want to know what u have planned for me, I want to walk in victory & success! I want to know how to love & be loved. I want to fulfill the dreams that u've put in me & the visions that i've seen. Lord give me the faith I need & the strength to carry on despite all the gloom around me. Let me see the things that are unseen & unheard, let me know your heartbeat. Amen. Peacekeeper... ceased transmission on Sunday, May 06, 2007 |
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