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Thursday, May 31, 2007 ~ Blink your eyes.

These few weeks have gone in a blink of an eye. How a few weeks change everything.

The loss of a friend is a hard thing, but to lose one who made such an impact on you, one who should not have passed on but should have been in the prime of his life getting ready to be married and preparing for what could have been the best time of his live. Alas it was not to be, I suppose I was not that shocked at it when I heard the news, after all he had been diagnosed with a terminal cancer for quite sometime... still it was quite a shock...

I still wonder why i'm here, what's my purpose here? I feel like a player that's been sold and leaving at the end of the season but still has to play for the whole season... another 1 more year to go... Honesty I feel no pride in what i've done... I've done 1 major exercise.. got promoted before my time... and that's it.. nothing else is much worth saying about. I don't feel like i've done anything worth mentioning... I still remember the days when I had such pride wearing my uniform, proudly showing to the rest of the world what a great army we had, what pride it was to be in NS.. but now... the dream's been shattered, I find myself in a type of garrison duty together with many others... with people who shouldnt be in this vocation. All we think about is to ORD.. nothing else matters.. It sometimes seems like the mission of the nsf is to ORD... not about defending or about honor or anything else... why should any of us put in more effort? Is it even recognized? A friend once chatised me for helping others too much coz in the end no one recognizeses it and instead all u get is more work... how true is it?

I think i need a new start... I cant go on like this... going hands behind my back... fighting 1 handed... either that or perhaps I need a rest...

Peacekeeper... ceased transmission on Thursday, May 31, 2007